There wasn't even a whimper.

First off, happiest of new years to you all.

Second: For those of you waiting with bated breath since the last post, please, unbate.  Deluxe Crackers were indeed cracked and we are all still in possession of our hearing. This may be because there was no crack.  I know for a fact there was no BANG, surprise or otherwise. Also, the promised novelties were far from novel, though they would work exceptionally well in a cautionary brochure about toys that pose choking hazards. Happily, Aura is far beyond the mouthing stage. Even happier, the cat who crashed this house is not. Tonight I sprayed this darling little plastic frog that came in one of the crackers with catnip spray. All that is left to do is sit back and watch. Come on, Smoky Joe. Make my day.

I consider it a reward for ripping up my rugs and scratching the leather sectional.

In the meantime, all that worry about snarky yet uncannily deserved mottoes was for naught. Turns out the Chinese actually just needed an excuse to share the world’s worst jokes. I would give them the benefit of the doubt and blame the lameness on translation, but really. We all know they’re trying to take over the world. In this case, they’re intent on doing it one really bad pun at a time.

All that aside, 2010 is off to a rip-roaring start. I made and ate most of an especially tasty cherry cobbler last night to toast the new year, then wore elastic-waisted pants all day today. To those of you beginning 2010 focused on a new diet and exercise regimen, I say, Kudos! Bravo! You show ‘em!  To the rest of you, please, feel free to let me know if you want the cobbler recipe.