It is perfectly healthy to write your own epitaph. The wreath-bedecked Tin Man taught me this.

gravestone funny epitaph

[set scene: Kate experiences pivotal moment] Whenever someone has asked me to guest post on his/her blog in the past, I have regretfully declined, for no other reason than extreme stage fright. I like to think this all stems from when I played Dorothy in my high school’s production of the much-renowned musical Christmas in…

And today I am a ray of sunshine! (As long as you don’t have a leather couch.)

The Best Argument Against the Common Cold You Will Ever Read 2:00 a.m. In throes of fever, realize I cannot sleep, no matter how much I toss and turn and groan intermittently to wake up Adam for pity that NEVER COMES. Go downstairs. 2:05 a.m. Commence to tossing and turning on couch, interspersed with fervent…

I’m thinking there’s got to be some kind of taxi service for this sort of thing.

alarm clock insomnia

Morning person (n.) 1. individual who unfathomably enjoys rising early in the day 2. individual known for frustratingly sunny behavior and generally cheerful comportment at ungodly hours 3. NOT KATE How do you people do this, you people with outside-the-home jobs and children other than mine? I mean, it wasn’t like I was sleeping all…

I’ll take Passione for $8.99, or: Take-out menus I have known and loved.

funny take-out menu typos

It’s been well-established that while I like to eat, and eat a lot, I don’t actually enjoy cooking. Weekends are therefore all the more wonderful for me, a stretch of two days during which I can get away with ordering take-out at least once. Maybe twice if no one around here gets all JUDGY JUDGY…

Suffice it to say that from now on I’m going on long, medicated vacations in early September.

So, I didn’t sleep very well last night. I kept waking up and rolling over to look at the clock, kind of like you do when you know you have an early flight in the morning and you’re terrified that you’ll wake up too late to get to the airport. Except, you know, I’m not…

Oh, yes. We went to this kind of famous ice-cream factory, too. Ben and…someone.

ben jerry ticket

We are freshly returned from a vacation in Vermont, a state I’ve written about before and to which I would gladly relocate if it wasn’t, well, Vermont. It is one of the most gorgeous places I have ever seen: the fresh air is bracing, the mountains magnificent, and my mobile reception was really shoddy and…

Sally may sell seashells at the seashore, but we whack waves with (w)abandon.

It always gives me a gigantic thrill to see Aura run straight to the waves when we visit my mother in RI, to watch the way she throws her typical caution to the salty wind and splashes right in, going deeper until we warn her to stop. I take greedy breaths of the ocean air,…

It’s not like it would have killed them to set out a few of those toaster pastries. Maybe some bits of Fudgsicle.

prime example lego construction kids

Since the return from NYC, life has been summertime slow. It’s also been simmering hot, but I promised last winter, the Winter of All That Was Snowy and Horrifyingly Awful Cold, that I wouldn’t complain once it got hot again. So I won’t even comment on how my eyebrows nearly singed off when I went…

This is the point in life when purple highlights might be in order. That or deep, deep depression.

gray hair first

I’m writing this at the same exact time I should be preparing the final deliverables for our business trip on Wednesday. (You see what I did there, yes? I used the word “deliverables” and I implied that our business has grown important enough for an actual trip. Give me another six months and I will…

Also, Little Bo Peep looked a little long in the tooth. All those smoking sheep, probably.

Happy July! Wouldn’t it have been nice if I had posted, say, at the beginning of July to share that? I agree. It would have been nice. I need to work on being nicer. But in the meantime, allow me to plead my case. See, Aura, my mother, and I took this little vacation up…