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Category Archives: parenthood

I'll totally regret admitting this in the morning.

I freely acknowledge that I am not a vision of marital bliss by the time Adam arrives home most nights. He’ll walk in the door, announcing his exhaustion, and I’ll stare at him with something bordering on wrath. Carrot peels from dinner prep stuck to my face, driveway chalk crusted under my nails, a laundry…

I can't promise not to hyperventilate if someone suggests also going to a movie.

Apparently, the planets have aligned, the stars have crossed, and a ritual sacrifice of a Polly Pocket or two (RELAX, one of them was already missing her left arm and the other one bore an off-putting resemblance to Mickey Rourke) has been made, for we have a babysitter. This is a rare occurrence, so rare…

I won't even mention what was written on the slide.

As summer sets in, Aura and I are enjoying a rather fancy-free season. Freed from the September–June preschool, etc. schedule, we’ve been sort of meandering, hitting a beach here, an amusement park there, an ice-cream shop or twenty over there. Since it is widely known that I’m allergic to overscheduling (seriously, there are hives involved;…

As far as airborne litter goes, it could have been worse.

I admit: I haven’t been the brightest ray of sunshine around the old homestead as of late. There are probably all kinds of small and inconsequential reasons for this, although I think much of my mood stems from the fact that Aura has been battling one small illness after another these past two months. She…

This is why I shall never chortle at Apple. Or Moon Unit, for that matter.

Thanks to several readers for suggesting this topic. Much better than writing about mulch. I think. ————————————————————————————— “HAHAHAHA,” I cackled. “A girl! Now THAT’S a good one!” Because, honestly, back in 2006, the only way I was having a girl was if the boy I KNEW I was having spontaneously switched genders before being born….

I'd like to thank the Academy. Of Bad Parenting.

In retrospect, I really should have known better. Aura has inherited a great many things from her father, including a love of coffee-flavored foodstuffs and an inclination to snicker at me when I am at my most threatening. She also shares his tendency to become completely and utterly submerged in the lyrics of a song. New songs, songs that especially strike their fancy,…

Also, someone should have told me that I have chubby knees.

Look what we finally got around to purchasing: Yes indeedy, a floor mirror. This purchase was actually a pretty big deal for us, considering that Adam and I have been cohabitating for almost 11 years and have never owned a full-length mirror. Well, technically, that’s not quite true. The first place we rented came with a full-length mirror on…

And to think that all Harvard is worried about is its endowment.

Inspired by what has become a swath of unseasonably warm weather, Aura and I headed over to Harvard Square today for a little exploring. As we were tooling around the area, I decided to formally introduce Aura to Harvard itself. “Maybe you’ll want to go here someday!” I chirped sunnily to Aura, ducking through one of…

Ooh, heaven is a place at Chuck E. Cheese.

Heaven—its existence, its contents—has gotten a lot of play over the centuries. Hemingway, unsurprisingly, thought heaven might be a bull-fighting ring. Longfellow imagined infinite meadows. Dante proposed a divine hierarchy of sorts. And we’re all pretty familiar with the Qur’an’s promise of a paradise flush with virgins. To be fair, all of these predictions were made…

Warning: Living can cause death.

Media outlets reported this week that the American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending that the hot dog be redesigned. Apparently, 17 percent of children 10 and under who die of choking do so while eating a hot dog. According to one doctor, a hot dog is pretty much the “perfect plug for a child’s airway.”  (Great. Freakin’ fantastic….