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Category Archives: holidays

See, this never would have happened if we had just signed her up for karate.

It’s been well over a year since I signed up Aura for her first dance class. And almost a year since I blogged about my recital qualms, and then the ensuing recital hijinks. (Ah, hijinks. Entirely maladroit here, yet there is not nearly enough usage of hijinks these days. That and d├ęcolletage. Oh, and bamboozle….

Now if only I could think of something lucrative to do with all of these twist ties. Besides cursing at them.

new year

So! Happy 2012, everyone! A nice even number, this one. A leap year, even, which I prefer to think of as a year with an extra day when you can eat a lot of cookies and then forget it ever happened. Or something like that. (For those of you with more stalwart, healthier resolutions, what…

I might get myself a plaque, too. Something gilded that highlights my cookie-bribing achievements.

Trader Joe

I’ve been feeling sick off and on for a couple of weeks now, and the lead-up to the holidays has been a lot more muted that I would have wanted. Aura and I still haven’t made the peppermint bark, I’m only a scary little percentage done with Christmas shopping, and the stuff on the kitchen…

How One Child Makes a Christmas List, or: Crap, Guy Fieri Strikes Again

Just make the Santa list

(I hold these truths to be self-evident. Also, extremely expensive.) 1. Approach, rather lackadaisically, the toy catalogs that have recently arrived by the armload. Let the bright purple circling marker dangle loosely from your fingers, as to give the impression that Eh, You May Have Better Things to Do and Are Possibly Above This By…

I am now having very optimistic second thoughts about those cans of Funfetti frosting, assuming that kneading is involved.

So I picked up this little gem of a project a few days ago: Yes, indeedy. It is one of those prefab gingerbread house kits, the kind of which I have avoided for most of Aura’s childhood, simply because I couldn’t put up with what I knew would be Adam’s protestations: “A pre-made gingerbread house?…

Please, no quacking jokes. I’m still recovering. A lot.

I’m not sure how many of you remember the Great Duck Fiasco of Thanksgiving 2010 (main plot points: Adam attempts to shun centuries of tradition by insisting on duck for the main course instead of turkey; threatens to cook rabbit for Easter if he doesn’t get his way, leading me to yell things like YOU…

Because “fluffy whipped chocolate” will never be a cure for a holiday hangover. Ever.

too much Halloween jack-o-lantern carving

Forgive me holiday enthusiasts everywhere for saying this, but: Well, thank GOD that’s over. I’m not sure when Halloween became the Holiday Second Only to Christmas, but honestly, it seemed a bit out of control this year. If it wasn’t the Main Street trick-or-treat, it was the dance class where you had to dress in…

Someone important told me that the orange stripe is full of Vitamin C. Maybe lycopene.

yummy autumn mix candy corn

Welcome to the end of October, renowned for one very important thing: candy corn. [I hear that you can actually buy the stuff year-round, but I choose to ignore this and maybe doubt it a little. I could look down the candy aisle, say, in March, but I need to hold onto what illusions I…

It’s as if leaving the Pottery Barn Kids Halloween catalog under her pillow had no effect whatsoever.

As a parent, it is gratifying to see your child march to the beat of her own drum. Oh, super. I have to pause this post already because, for the first time in my increasingly longer life, it just hit me what a wildly asinine saying that is. No one wants a kid who marches…

Yet she can’t get enough of photos with the Easter Bunny. It’s like prejudice at its worst.

So! We’re freshly returned from the mall, where Aura successfully managed to avoid having her picture taken with Santa for the third year in a row. She took one look at him from an eighth of a mile away and promptly threw herself in the other direction, which in this case happened to be the…