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Category Archives: growing up

I bet it will only get worse and she’ll want to drive and vote, too.

In recent months**, a change has begun to come over Aura: The girl who very rarely cared what she was wearing on any given day has begun to care. A lot more. And much more vocally. Specifically, she has started to express fervent and frequent concern that there are not enough sequins in her wardrobe***,…

If you ignore the whole “pen” thing, it’s entirely humane.

Pack

When Aura was a baby and I’d complain about having to keep a constant eye on her, my mother would broach the Subject of Playpens. “When you were a baby, I just put you in your playpen. You were happy there!” she’d reminisce, as I rolled my eyes at the folly of former generations. “MOM….

I’m having nightmares about wall decals. (Alternate title: This will show that overexposed Paul McCartney.)

nursery in progress kind of

Hello! Howdy! Bonjour et salut et all that! For those of you wondering why I bother to have a blog at all if I’m going to just let it fester for over a month without updating it, I say to you: IT WAS ALL AN EXPERIMENT. AND YOU AND I TOTALLY FELL FOR IT. You’d…

Next on my hit list: The genius who coined the phrase “the birds and the bees.”

Amazing You kids

Lately, Aura has been making references to our “family of four.”  This was all adorable and good until she turned to me a couple of days ago and added, “And then we will be a family of five! And six! And seven!” Blanching with something akin to, oh, I don’t know, extreme dread, I chuckled…

I’d much prefer Cuddly Panda mom. Or even Super-Terrific Honey Badger Mom.

tiger mom image perception

The other day, during swim class (the last one for a while, thank all that is fully holy, semi-holy, and even just a little holy), I noticed that Aura was giving her teacher a bit of a hard time about going under water. After it had gone on for a few minutes, I stood up,…

I notice that no one ever mentioned the getting-older thing in childbirth class.

short end of stick figure

Recently, I feel like Aura has been left holding the short end of the stick. To be sure, I really don’t know what the short end of a stick entails besides being short, but in this case I think it might involve less playing with your mother and possibly a dab of boredom. There have…

Suffice it to say that from now on I’m going on long, medicated vacations in early September.

So, I didn’t sleep very well last night. I kept waking up and rolling over to look at the clock, kind of like you do when you know you have an early flight in the morning and you’re terrified that you’ll wake up too late to get to the airport. Except, you know, I’m not…

This is the point in life when purple highlights might be in order. That or deep, deep depression.

gray hair first

I’m writing this at the same exact time I should be preparing the final deliverables for our business trip on Wednesday. (You see what I did there, yes? I used the word “deliverables” and I implied that our business has grown important enough for an actual trip. Give me another six months and I will…

Give me enough Jerry Springer and I think I might make it to Australia.

Ahoy, friends! I write to you with ever so slightly tanned fingers, freshly returned as I am from Key West. A good time was had by all, what with the parasailing and copious inhaling of Cuban food and my not infrequent hissed whispers to Adam that went something along the lines of “Wait! I was…

I could have called her Twerphead, but that would seem…unkind.

Hello! Anyone out there? I’d normally be able to see you, but the combination of blog-gathering dust and the, oh, FIVE HUNDRED FEET OF SNOW outside is cutting down on visibility. Luckily, there’s nothing better for defrosting a dormant blog than a healthy dose of letting-off-steamishness. Extra luckily, I have just the subject. And her…