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And then there were two. (Alternate title: WHY DID NO ONE PROPERLY WARN ME ABOUT BOYS AND DIAPER CHANGES)

Everyone, I’d like you to meet Jax. All 8 pounds, 15 ounces of him popped into the outside world at 10:27 p.m. on July 22, right on his due date.

Jax at hospital

Adam and I feel blessed beyond belief. As for Jax, well, I think we can sum things up in this way:

THINGS JAX LIKES

1. Eating

2. Pooping

3. Grunting loudly in his sleep at 12:00 a.m.

4. Eating some more

5. Pooping in the middle of a diaper change, while simultaneously spraying himself in the face

6. Grunting loudly in his sleep at 2:00 a.m. See also: 3:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m., infinity.

7. EATING EATING EATING GOOD LORD WOMAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO SLEEP/USE THE BATHROOM/DO DISHES/PLAY WITH THAT OTHER CHILD

(After a brief episode of birth-weight loss, otherwise known as That Time the Pediatrician Threatened a Feeding Tube and I Sobbed and Felt Like a Monstrous Mothering Failure But Then All Was Fine 12 Hours Later So Screw You Medical Establishment and Yay for Monstrous Breasts, Jax has moved on up the scale to a whopping 9 pounds, 2 ounces. His thighs are even more rolly now, for the cuteness record. Plus he has a dimple in his elbow NOM NOM.)

And Aura? Well, I’d say she’s pretty thrilled. A little disappointed that Jax is not yet expressing her level of extreme pleasure with either the iPad or her approximate 4,849 Littlest Pet Shop toys, but eh. That’s what the third week of life is for, anyway.

You know what, friends?

Right now, life is good. Very, very good.

17 Responses to And then there were two. (Alternate title: WHY DID NO ONE PROPERLY WARN ME ABOUT BOYS AND DIAPER CHANGES)
  1. Cher
    August 1, 2012 | 6:00 pm

    Congrats Kate! He’s adorable. Good work. And the best thing about boys is that they just keep getting better and better!

  2. Matt
    August 1, 2012 | 6:13 pm

    Well, a huge congratulations to your family for your newest addition!

    Jax = Kickass name, but then again… you have Aura, so I wouldn’t expect anything less.

    Wishing you the best!

    -Matt

  3. Jessalyn
    August 1, 2012 | 6:38 pm

    congrats times a million! they are both beyond adorable. so happy for you!! :)

  4. Sarah
    August 1, 2012 | 8:14 pm

    Hey, I like everything Jax likes (I’m counting snoring as grunting)! Except for no. 5–and who knows what the future will bring?

    Congratulations on a job well done. Or, more accurately, begun, I guess.

  5. Jane
    August 1, 2012 | 8:17 pm

    awesome!

    i’ll grt my PeePee TeePee’s to you. for now, get a pair of wrap around sunglasses for yourself.

  6. Naptimewriting
    August 2, 2012 | 12:00 am

    Memorize this: air + penis = pee. So be prepared with a washcloth or next diaper or beach towel when you unfasten old diaper, open, and swiftly cover with next piece of cloth. Or you’ll get it in the face.

    Here’s one you’ll need, too: MAKE SURE IT’S POINTED DOWN BEFORE YOU SEAL THE DIAPER. At least once every bleary-eyed mom has diapered a penis in the up position, and had a screaming, soaked baby wake her 45 minutes later. Dry diaper, wet shirt.

    Those things are directional. Consider yourself warned.

    Look out for the phase when Aura figures out he’s not leaving and tries to remove him from the family herself. Sometimes when still a newborn, sometimes when the younger starts crawling, almost always when the younger starts walking. Consider yourself warned again.

    And congratulations.

  7. Brenda
    August 2, 2012 | 11:59 am

    Congrats to you and your newly expanded family!!!!

  8. Breenah
    August 2, 2012 | 5:25 pm

    CONGRATS!!! Aura looks soooo happy!

  9. Becca
    August 2, 2012 | 8:28 pm

    All looks perfect!! Congrats to the happy fam!

  10. julie gardner
    August 2, 2012 | 11:46 pm

    I am so full of joy for you I can’t even be snarky.

    Which may be the first time since ever.

    So congratulations on the good life, my friend.

    (And believe me. It gets better. I pinkie swear.)

  11. Liz Noonan
    August 3, 2012 | 12:31 am

    Yay! Congratulations and yay for huge mama boobies!!! He looks well fed and well loved ;-)
    So happy for you Kate!
    Congratulations to the whole fam!
    xo

  12. Brooke
    August 3, 2012 | 4:45 pm

    Oh my goodness.

    Adorable children- you make them.

  13. Jessica
    August 5, 2012 | 6:38 pm

    Welcome to the world baby.

    I’m glad to hear all is well for you over there.

  14. Alyssa @NearNormalcy
    August 9, 2012 | 1:10 pm

    Ack! I leave the internet for a few weeks and look what happens YOU GO AND HAVE A BABY! Jax!! Look at that ear-to-ear on big sister. That smile looks like it hurts. Love it.

    The good news: they’re far enough apart in age that chances are good the novelty won’t wear off terribly soon. Two years later my 6 year old is still madly in love with her baby brother. I’ll keep you posted on when that changes. But in the meantime, you have 2 years, enjoy them!

  15. Karen
    August 12, 2012 | 12:15 pm

    Kate,
    Congratulations! Jax is adorable beyond belief and has a great name. You two make beautiful babies. Say congratulations to your Mom from me, too.
    Karen

  16. Mammy woo
    August 18, 2012 | 5:37 am

    OH MY GOODNESS CONGRATULATIONS!!!
    I love his name i love his name i want his name i want to get pregnant so i can have another boy and call him JAX! what a beautiful name! what a beautiful boy!!!

    I find erecting a make shift tent in the living room and doing all nappy changes within the tent, as to not require mopping the light fixtures!

    OH KATE! i am so happy for you! Congratulations to you all x

  17. Ilana
    August 24, 2012 | 10:12 pm

    Congratulations!!!! I’m totally late with this but since this blog post is still on top of your feed, I’d say I’m off the hook!

    Glad things are going smoothly, with the exception of the pee thing— don’t they make little penis hats for that?

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