It’s been a string of fun days over here, let me tell you. Poor Aura came down with a hellish cold about 10 days ago and by this past weekend she was clutching her ear and sobbing right about, oh, say, three-point-five minutes after the doctor’s office shut down on Saturday evening. Apparently, begging and wheedling with after-hours nurses will get you nowhere these days. Also and for the record, they do poorly with thinly veiled bribes of homemade cookies that devolve into threats. Give the USDA two decades of “limited sugary treats” and “one trillion servings of veggies a day” and we now have loftily ethical nurses and small children howling in pain and I HOPE THOSE FOOD PYRAMID PEOPLE ARE HAPPY.
Anyway. I got Aura an appointment Sunday morning and in we went, spending a happy hour in the waiting room during which all her ear pain magically disappeared, sometime between when she was driving her Polly Pocket cars over every germ-infested floor tile and when she was rubbing her face on every obviously coughed-upon chair. (WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS FABRIC? WHYYYYY?)
By the time we got to the actual exam room and the doctor finally walked in, I could tell I was in for yet another use-a-little-more-decongestant-and-don’t-forget-to-make-her-rest-knowing-wink-hee-hee! discussion. Just once, ONCE, this is the doctor I want instead:
“Hi! My name is Dr. Smith, and I just want to warn you upfront that I am extremely heavy-handed with the amoxicillin. Now, I know many of my colleagues will tell you to just wait it out a little longer and that there’s nothing you can do for a viral infection. But you and I both know those doctors can’t possibly have children of their own, so here’s one prescription for now, one for later, and also a little something with codeine HAVE AT IT.”
You know what? Once the USDA gets finished with the next and brightest food shape, they should take a crack at the Hippocratic Oath. I bet we all know a coughing child or too who would love to consult.
P.S. Aura is better today. Wow! That waiting-it-out thing does eventually work.
P.S. Oh, and we tried the neti pot with Aura for the first time. Oh, childbirth, I have been FAR too hard on you.